Day 1

6:32 AM
I woke up not needing a cigarette. As I drink this pot of coffee though, I really really want one. I know it will pass though. No need to run to the store and ruin what I've started! It seems typing about wanting one helps too. I hope I can do it this time!

6:58 AM
A little antsy. Have to remember the breathing techniques I was told to use from when I tried to quit before. Deep breath in, blow it out like you're blowing out smoke. It helps mildly.

7:20 AM
I fear this is a hopeless path. I really want someone to confide in, but no one wants to quit with me. I have Cathy, but she's not a smoker. She doesn't understand the addiction. I WANT "You've gone 12 whole hours without a cigarette! You're doing great!" not "You've only went 12 hours, big deal."

7:45 AM: The Price

$2.94 a pack. About $3.13 a pack after tax. A pack a day habit, 30 days a month = $93.90 wasted. 31 days = $97.03 wasted. And that's just if I buy the cheapest the closest store has. Sometimes they are out and I buy a higher priced pack, or I buy from a different store at a different price. Rough estimate: $100 wasted a MONTH. $1,200 a year...

9:11 AM
My whole body feels numb. Is this a normal feeling for detoxification of nicotine and whatever else is in cigarettes?

9:53 AM
Feel a tad euphoric. Very nice. I wish it would stay like this, but I know it won't. Soon, I'm sure, comes the crash and crazy nicotine fits. I'll just enjoy this while it lasts.

10:18 AM
According to eHow (http://www.ehow.com/about_4675135_long-nicotine-stay-system_.html) I have about 30 days until all the nicotine has left my body. I can speed it up using water and exorcize!

10:46 AM
Seems I have no control over my balance. Odd. Didn't think I needed nicotine to walk straight...

Day 0: Take [absurd number]: The Announcement

Well, it won't be easy. I may even be a dick. With Welbutrin XL I may be able to do it. Been taking it the last 3 mornings. I've found I only smoke out of habit now. The taste of a cigarette now, for some reason, appalls me. So I gave what was left of my last pack to my Mother about 10 minutes ago. No excuses now, no habit enablers. So here's to a new beginning. I hope this time is the right one.

[EDIT]
Announcing such a thing to the public usually means a failure is bound to happen. I'll wait a few days. Maybe they'll figure it out on their own? I hope I don't become a dick. Cathy says I'm acting different already. She doesn't know I quit yet.

Fuck it!

Last six weeks I was sad I only had one more six weeks left at the junior college. After having effective communication, I can't wait for this to be over. Not really sure what changed. Maybe it's just that I don't have an IT class. Maybe it's that the teacher is an evil cunt.